Glimpse of the past

So I was collecting my thoughts on the Idea of Nation blog. I had this faint memory that I have compiled the thoughts on the fusion history of India somewhere earlier. I began sorting through my notes. And in the process, I found my diary of 2014. It was written when I had just failed in third mains and I was contemplating my future course of action.

I often find myself helpless in discouraging my sister from her unproductive passion of photography. First, she takes photos, photos in all the nonsensical poses. Though thankfully she has not come down to the level of pouting and tough flashing. She fits people in all permutation and combination to take maximum numbers of photos possible. And this is what irritates me most. But she is the photographer of our family. Then, she comes home and from time to time she put those photos on big screen and watch them in slideshows. For me, it is like wasting your present on memories of past.

However, I fell in the same trap with my diary and started reading it. It was somewhat nostalgic to read those unabashed thoughts. Here on the blog I use backspace a lot. At times, it is censored. But those thoughts were the real me. It was pleasing to see how I faced that tough time. I could see how little I have changed over the years. Though I am more calm and relaxed but even then I felt that piercing restlessness and desire to "do everything" in my behavior.

One of the very good habits I followed back then was I used to list all the behavioral and attitudinal mistakes in my daily routine. I used to analyze people around. I was not judgmental but I did my analysis to understand the diversity around. It helped me grow a lot personally.

Back in the years, If I get into any argument then my face would become stiff and unsmiling. But now I can smile while fighting back on an argument. And many other things.

It was also little depressing to read that diary. It prompted me to make comparison of my current efforts with my earlier efforts. My passion then and my indifference now. It felt little bad. It shakes confidence a little.

Anyway, Enough for now. Want to write a lot but possibly not on this public blog. And one thing, with all the critic of my sister's photography, whenever I go out, I wish my sister is around so that I can offload the task of taking some minimum photos though I do not know why or for what purpose?