Little girl Babita

Babita, a little girl with hairs curl
riding scooter in the park, her face had a spark

She was my aunt, she never flaunt
Calm and gentle nature, she was a kind creature

Her persona was debonair, marriage bells were ringing in the air
A bearded man came to house, A private meeting with the spouse

Me and sweety got new dress, Mine was flashing hers was matt
Mausi Mausa ji sitting on the chair, Camera rolling everyone cheer

Charu and Ranu came in the world, Two became four Jaipur preferred
Joyful life rockstar couple, funful banter playful tussle

But one day one truckwalah came, May be he was drunk, may be insane
Driving rashly he crushed Babita, blood fell down more than a litre
She left for the heavenly abode, leaving behind our grieving souls

Her love care affection beauty, timeless charm and household duties
gloomy mind heart in pain, we feel sad and teary faced
May her soul rest in peace, Ranu and Charu fulfill her dream
Mausa ji quickly recover, act as father and also a mother

This is life, beautiful and evil, Prepare yourself for good and cruel
Even though she is no more, Her memories will always endure

Madhushala: Few more rubais

भावुकता अंगूर लता से खींच कल्पना की हाला,
कवि साकी बनकर आया है भरकर कविता का प्याला,
कभी न कण-भर खाली होगा लाख पिएँ, दो लाख पिएँ!
पाठकगण हैं पीनेवाले, पुस्तक मेरी मधुशाला।।४।

This rubai tells about the infinite dimensions of creativity and sizeless power of creativity. As per poet, the emotions lead to creative thought and manifest in the form of a poems. The power of poems is such that it is endless and would fill all the quest and needs of readers. At a deeper level, poem also describes the importance of being drunk or immersed into something which is infinite.

चलने ही चलने में कितना जीवन, हाय, बिता डाला!
'दूर अभी है', पर, कहता है हर पथ बतलानेवाला,
हिम्मत है न बढूँ आगे को साहस है न फिरुँ पीछे,
किंकर्तव्यविमूढ़ मुझे कर दूर खड़ी है मधुशाला।।७।

This rubai tells that we keep walking and walking in the quest of happiness and state of bliss. We keep searching for it in every walk of life. There comes a time when we proceed so deep in the pursuit that we become directionless. We fail to gather the courage to move forward or going back to the initial stage. Some one has aptly said if one is not happy at present, he can not be happy in the future. So live in the present. Madhushala or your passion or love lie in the present.

लाल सुरा की धार लपट सी कह न इसे देना ज्वाला,
फेनिल मदिरा है, मत इसको कह देना उर का छाला,
दर्द नशा है इस मदिरा का विगत स्मृतियाँ साकी हैं,
पीड़ा में आनंद जिसे हो, आए मेरी मधुशाला।।१४।

Madhushala is a state of bliss whereas drink is the painful experience. One shall not confuse the painful experiences of life as something bad or unpleasant. This rubai tells that a real drunkard would be one who could enojy the drink even in the state of pain. In deeper sense, it means those who can enjoy the life, and its sad eventualities with a joyful mind are only realise the true state of bliss.

धर्मग्रन्थ सब जला चुकी है, जिसके अंतर की ज्वाला,
मंदिर, मसजिद, गिरिजे, सब को तोड़ चुका जो मतवाला,
पंडित, मोमिन, पादिरयों के फंदों को जो काट चुका,
कर सकती है आज उसी का स्वागत मेरी मधुशाला।।१७।

Here poet use Madhushala as a metaphore to describe the state of bliss. As per Poet, only people who have overcome the resistance of communal forces, whose inner lamp of enlightenment has overcome the preachings of religious text and who had been able to free himself from the clutches of priests can only realise the true state of bliss, self-actualization and enlightenment.

एक बरस में, एक बार ही जगती होली की ज्वाला,
एक बार ही लगती बाज़ी, जलती दीपों की माला,
दुनियावालों, किन्तु, किसी दिन आ मदिरालय में देखो,
दिन को होली, रात दिवाली, रोज़ मनाती मधुशाला।।२६।

Here poet use Madhushala as a metaphore to describe the state of bliss. As per poet, various festivities occur once in a season or year but a person who achieves the state of bliss become eternally happy.

अधरों पर हो कोई भी रस जिहवा पर लगती हाला,
भाजन हो कोई हाथों में लगता रक्खा है प्याला,
हर सूरत साकी की सूरत में परिवर्तित हो जाती,
आँखों के आगे हो कुछ भी, आँखों में है मधुशाला।।३२।

This rubai explains the experiential feelings in the state of bliss. When a person is in state of ultimate enlightenment then whatever kind of experience, feeling of sorrow, happiness, sadness, irritation, frustration or pain occurs, he would always experience the joy
and love. Everything becomes bliss for him. This occurs when you become totally immersed in whatever you are doing.

चित्रकार बन साकी आता लेकर तूली का प्याला,
जिसमें भरकर पान कराता वह बहु रस-रंगी हाला,
मन के चित्र जिसे पी-पीकर रंग-बिरंगे हो जाते,
चित्रपटी पर नाच रही है एक मनोहर मधुशाला।।४२।

Here poet uses the metaphor of saki to describe life and hala as good or bad experiences of life. He says that life brings all sort of colorful experiences which help us in enriching the canvass of our mind. One who is immersed in enjoying these life experiences developa a colorful state of mind which exhibit the real state of blissfulness.

मुसलमान औ' हिन्दू है दो, एक, मगर, उनका प्याला,
एक, मगर, उनका मदिरालय, एक, मगर, उनकी हाला,
दोनों रहते एक न जब तक मस्जिद मन्दिर में जाते,
बैर बढ़ाते मस्जिद मन्दिर मेल कराती मधुशाला!।५०।

Poet comments on the divisive force of religion in a satirical and poetic manner. As per his observation, people may have different religion or worshiping styles like muslims and hindus but the force of life and its experiences do not differentiate on the basis of religion. It treats everyone in equal manner and in the state of bliss, everyone has similar experiences.

एक तरह से सबका स्वागत करती है साकीबाला,
अज्ञ विज्ञ में है क्या अंतर हो जाने पर मतवाला,
रंक राव में भेद हुआ है कभी नहीं मदिरालय में,
साम्यवाद की प्रथम प्रचारक है यह मेरी मधुशाला।।५९।

In this poet describes that for a man immersed in his work, differences become ephemeral and useless. In a way, state of bliss i.e. complete immersion in one's world of work or virtue or drink is a first example of communism.

Poem: Relapse

Slipping from hand
like a citadel of sand
Lack of self-discipline and
dearth of commitment

Its not music or band
neither the fire of foreign land
Nor the sensual hand
momentary slip on tangent

may be hormonal gland
Thoughts become crass and bland
Nowadays it's a trend
unconscious is hell-bent

Truth and conviction tanned
which side of grass should one stand
whatsoever was planned
Always ended as miscreant

A new beginning after every end
Should I let it flow or be resistant

Mahakavi

Mahakavi is ABP news's new documentary creation which highlights the life, times and creations of some of the greatest poet of Hindi poetry, mostly focusing on the Chayawadi kavis. Dr. Kumar Vishwas has very beautifully described the life of these great souls. Chayavaad marks the era of neo-romanticism and is known for themes of love, romance expression and humanist content. The series could be considered as tarpan of Dr. Kumar Vishwas towards the great pillars of Hindi poetry. He has given his voice to some of the great creations and combined it with modern life instrument of casio, guitar and drum.

Dr. Vishwas explained the difference between a man and a poet.
As per words of Nirala:
Atma ke saundarya ka, Shabd roop hai kavya
Manav hona bhagya hai, kavi hona saubhagya

Similarly, he gave a very interesting introduction of any poet
Mitti ka tan, masti ka man, kshanbhar jeevan, mera parichay

He sung verses of Rashmirathi (Shri Ramdhari Singh Dinkar Ji), Kamayani (Shri Jai Shankar Prasad Ji) and Madhushala (Shri Haribash Rai Bachchan Ji) to name a few. It is a must watch series for any one who takes even iota of interest in the realm of Hindi poems. This counts as another great creation of ABP news after history series like Pradhanmantri, and Samvidhan.

Unfinished pursuits of my life

Time and again when I look at my profile, some thoughts recurs in my mind about things which I should not have left unfinished or taken to completion. Today my dean faculty sent out a introductory mail for me and reading the mail, I had a sense of deja vu. A sense of reliving the same experience of incompleteness which I have had before. Quite surprisingly It is not UPSC. With respect to UPSC, I get a sense of completeness because I feel satisfied with my efforts.
So what is it I ask myself?

1. I did not publish a research paper as first author during my MS or did not pursue plan A during MS and instead settled for directed research is one on the top.
2. I did not complete the task of publishing JATF magazine despite putting in lot of effort.
3. I did not pursue the 50 days crash course program at Ahimsa due to low number of registrations due to fear of spoiling my own preparation as a result of overhead.
4. I did not write the book which I always aspired to for Civil Services aspirants. Most sad part is I did not document my feelings and emotional flight during my last attempt. If documented, it could have been a gold-chest for many others.
5. I did not complete the paid certification of RHCE and CCNA. Rather I just attended the classes and left in between.
6. I did not put in enough effort in cracking interviews of big shot companies like Google, Microsoft etc.
7. I left the RTI activism in between for UP.
8. I left the Oinfi thing in between and did not complete the process of PAN card and bank account.

People either pursue happiness or manage happiness. I believe in managing happiness. The best management strategy is to minimize your regrets in life. For many of these activities, time is not lost. I can still make a beginning and get them to work.

Global Entrepreneurship summit

As the global entrepreneurship summit is rolled out, India has come under the Ivanka-mania. Media is paying more attention to the dinner plans, dressing style and itinerary of Ivanka Trump than the grand scale global entrepreneurship summit which India is co-hosting after seven years.

As the country is witnessing an economic slowdown amid large-scale structural changes of Goods and services tax, unleashing the entrepreneurial beast seems the only answer to the impending problem of unemployment and low growth cycle. However, our flagship program of start-up India looks a non-starter due to various structural, societal and political issues.

One of the big reason for the failure of start-up India is Indian obsession with the settlement and stability in comparison to the risky ventures of entrepreneurship. Mr. Panagaria aptly described it as brahamanical attitude of seeking for the job, certainty over charting the uncharted trajectories. The lack of overall supporting ecosystem in terms of infrastructure, policy uncertainty, and finance availability add to these difficulties. Our cost of road transportation and logistics infrastructure remains costliest in the world. This amounts to nearly 15 to 20% of the overall cost. Whereas in the other competitive economies, this cost is around 8-9% only. As a result, our indigenous products are not able to compete with cheap imports from China and elsewhere in the world. In addition, our policy uncertainty in terms of taxation or excessive business overhead for startups in terms of declaration or certifications create further trouble. Even the definition os start-up was not clear till recently. Lastly, the venture capitalist and angel investors of India are suffering from Bania mindset. For them, business is about auditing of output-input on the eve of Diwali. They prefer trading over innovation. They prefer low-risk predictable benefit over the high-risk unpredictable outcome and short-term investment over the long term. As a consequence, investors have the inclination to invest in a service-oriented firm with the clear business model than a platform based community oriented business models. One can bet if Facebook was founded in India, Mark Zuckerberg would have certainly failed to find investment in India.

However, the problem is not just limited to the ecosystem. It also lies in the innovation attitude of risk-taking class. Most of our startups are a mere replication of existing business models of the developed world. Very few startups have been able to come up with an India-specific cheap novel solution tailored to our local audience. Replication rather than innovation is the word which comes to the mind when one thinks of Indian startups. On top of this, our other flagship programs like Skill India, Make-in-India and others have failed to complement the efforts of start-up India in a credible manner. For example, Skill-India is still focussing on making papad, incense sticks and pickle instead of focussing on cloud computing, artificial intelligence and robotics. Global entrepreneurship summit is a most appropriate platform to identify some out of box solutions to shed this brahamanical and typical baniya attitude of our knowledge-driven society.

All these talks of riskless capitalist attitude suggest that India needs a scheme for startup insurance. This way we can ensure some social floor for the risk-taking individual who leaves behind their settled sphere and ventures into uncharted territory. Maybe this will give more spine to them and their family members and change the perception of society which sees entrepreneurs as strugglers with uncertain future and tend to outcast them in the social world rather than appreciating their passionate instinct. We can stretch this further. Maybe we need a class of paid entrepreneurs, to begin with. Bright MBAs and engineers who are paid by the government to solve the hitherto unresolved problems. Specifics of insurance scheme and paid entrepreneurs scheme can be worked out in detail as per ground details.

Another way to boost entrepreneurship is to "catch the early bird". For this, we need to setup mandatory college entrepreneurship cells and a mandatory applied project for students during their coursework on prevailing social problems related to their respective field. One prerequisite to this is we develop a portal which lists all the open problems of our society big or small. For example, making intelligent traffic gates and lights or creating an air purifier for the house. There could be millions of such problems. All we need is to identify and document them in a proper manner. We will always find someone who can come up with more credible and trustworthy reliable solution for them.

This portal will require some investment in research and development as well. For this, we can devise a scheme similar to corporate social responsibility. We can ask our companies to invest a part of their profit in some kind of applied research. In return, companies can enjoy the benefits of such investment. This will solve the dual problem of lack of funding and lack of research and innovation in our society.

However, a serious limitation lies in the attitude of our young kids and their parents. They take pride in the pay package culture of society and society tend to consider such kids as supreme and superior to other segments of kids. Nobody asks what kind of work are they doing or are they even doing justice to their potential. To this end, we must limit the culture of million+ salary and put an upper cap on the salary of our fresh graduates. This way the prospects of working on self-dreams would become more lucrative and wise option. But we need to ask whether this will change the mindset of consumers. Consumers are driven by the cost of the product. That is why for most of the products, Chinese brand is preferred as Chinese have mastered the technique of cheap production by scaling up the units of production. Therefore, another drastic step would be to ban the possible range of Chinese product so that we create some breathing space for our own entrepreneurs. We can also send special teams of young people to go and explore Chinese production methodology so that things we understand their sutra of cheap and large-scale innovative production.

Another stick in this conundrum is the nature of management studies in our country. By its very nature of market focus and profit orientation, the focus of management curriculum has remained concentrated in urban areas middle class and upper-class population. They seem to not consider the rural population or the rural area as a viable market. However, most of our problems start from villages and flow outward. For example, problems of urbanization are rooted in poor drought management or poor food processing industry in the villages which force people to migrate.Thus the time has come to give a rural orientation and touch to our management education.

A complete ecosystem demands that people not only see the issues but they discuss, talk and participate in the issues.For decades, our society has become too focused on discussing individuals and somehow we have stopped discussing ideas. Now the time has come for a course correction. In this regard, the role of media assumes a lot of importance as media is one which sets the agenda of discussion and acts as chief opinion-maker and articulator nowadays.

Media needs to promote the thinking which shed the fear of failure and encourage people to think differently to solve routine problems. Struggling entrepreneurs should also get enough space on media and should be recognized and rewarded accordingly. This exercise would more fruitful for media as well if we conduct all-around year competition, events and promotional program for promotion of entrepreneurship at all level be it rural, taluk, district, state or national level. We need to think, eat and drink entrepreneurship and feed the same to our population to change their mindset at faster than the normal pace.

But can we create that kind of culture when the brightest lot of our society runs away to Singapore or Dubai or the US at the very first opportunity? The answer is no. It is very difficult to overcome this selfish mindset and think of social good. It also requires immense mental strength and conviction in the idea of futuristic India. One solution to this could be to create a Singapore or Dubai type territory out of the large territory in India. I wonder why can't we convert a vast territory of Thar into Dubai Land or Lakshyadweep into Singapore. We need to take these grand initiatives and shed the bullock cart age mentality. Only if we think big, will be able to achieve big.

Entrepreneurship is the elixir to convert elephant into the tiger. We can not seek refuge inside our caves forever when dragons keep flying all over our head and cannot act like an ostrich and dig our head in the sand and ignore the imminent disaster.

Poem: To Father, with Love

This poem I wrote on the retirement day of my Father.

karm aapki pahchaan hai
aap mahanon mein Mahan hai
Vyaktiva aapka prakhar hai
AApka karya amar hai

Devo ki kripa hai aap par
Indra viraje lalaat par
Vijaya sri aapke charano mein
Komalata aapke hridya mein

Vaak vidya aapko
Hai chaturta aapko
Aap baton ke dhani
Aap rekha ke hani

Adbhut anokhe baap ho
Pati parameshwar aap ho
Mitrata mein sachai hai
Man mein bahut gehrai hai

Hai ek bas ye kaamana
Hai ek bas ye prarthana
Ashish ki hai kaamna
Rahe margdarshan aapka, Rahe path pradarshan aapka
aap yun hi badhte rahe, swasthya tan man se rahe
Jitendra ka vardan ho, AApka samaan ho, aapka samaan ho

Lust vs Lost

Lusty eyes greedy heart
thirst and hunger taking far
from the soul in the world
standing naked amidst charade

Lust not virtue feels like sin
compulsive thoughts, making din
lust and love not synonym
clinging soul, feeling grim

Do this do that, body cries
heart feels pain, mind fries
tears roll down from the eyes
neurotic clouds cover skies

Search for self in this sea
Lost connection, burned spirit
feeling void, feeling sink
words not flowing through the ink

My Dubai chronicles

Story of Dubai is story of overnight success, selling dreams, visionary leadership and disciplined development. Dubai was A port city which survived on fisheries till 1960's but sudden discovery of oil in decade of 1960's turned the fortune of this small coastal emirates. One can sense the money and opulence flowing on the streets of Dubai while walking on the roadsides of Palm Jumeira or tracking the coast of Burj Al Arb. Was it a result of sudden discovery of wealth or was it a planned effort from the visionary leadership of Al Maktoum family? Will Dubai be a blip on the horizon of developmental history of modernistic world or will it remain there as a shining star forever?

The answer lies in understanding the development model of Dubai and UAE in larger perspective. First important ingredient to any task of development is the leadership. Dubai has got it right on spot. The leadership of Al Maktoum family has proved to be benevolent to public. Leaders have created a concentration of power but the futurist vision of leaders and focus on technology have created new avenues for public. For example, from the very beginning leaders understood that oil has bright but a limited future. Once the oil resources are consumed, the country may face existential crisis. In fact, Dubai did not even have oil. For Dubai questions were much grave. But they found answers in creating a jugglery of dreams and experiences for the world. Dubai focused on tourism and finance sector. It invested in building trademark buildings like Burj-Al-Arb and Burj Khalifa. It promoted beach events, desert tourism, adventure tourism and built global village. It provided good offices for negotiations and created a Singapore in the middle east for traders of Finance. As a result, an emirate which has no natural resources, no productive outcome of its own and depends on import for even basic necessity of food grain, turned into a gold vault of money. Today Dubai's sovereign wealth fund is one of the largest in the world. This can be gauged by the fact that first colony on the Mars is going to be funded by Dubai.

The focus on technology is visible in the next generation projects Dubai has taken up. The world's first Hyperloop project is coming up in Dubai. Any new technology in the world is first tried and tested in Dubai. The architectural marvel of Burj Khalifa and Burj-Al Arb were extremely difficult technological challenges and stands as an example of human resolve, constructive skills and architectural advancement. From the airport to hospital, every public office is occupied with high tech technologies.

Was it all so simple? Is political will the only thing needed to make this dream turn into reality? If that is the case then why country like India are not able to develop at this faster rate despite having a leader like Modi at the helm. More interestingly it is bewildering to know that most people who transformed Dubai are people from South Asia, mostly of Indian origin. If you stop at a traffic signal, very likely you'll find all drivers to be from South Asian nations which are known for their lawlessness, chaos and rule-breaking attitude. How do they get transformed in Dubai.

The secret to this transformation lies in strict law enforcement system. Machiavelli rightly said for a king, it is better to be feared than loved. Nowadays we live in generation of 'Lex Rex' i.e. law is king. All the nuisance creator, chaos lover, rule breaker and incorrigible Indians suddenly turn most law-abiding and sincere residents of the coastal nation. When compared to India, one can say that Dubai's secret of success lies in its politics and society. They extract the maximum work from Asian workers and do not allow them to have any citizenship in return. They have successfully sold the dreams to Indian middle class to come and work in Dubai and become rich. They have masterfully sold the dream of being a center of development and tourism to western nations from where large number of people come every year to enjoy the life here despite 6 months sweltering heat of 50+ degree centigrade. The dictator form of government has allowed them to keep the system as close box and portray a positive image of Dubai. For instance, posting any negative image of Dubai on social media account is a crime. Begging is a criminal act punishable with strict penalties on life. All this has helped Dubai in creating an atmosphere where people can focus on their work and enjoy the fun which Dubai offers. Shedding aside the traditional Islamic emirate tag, Dubai has a become Thailand of the east. Prostitutes from all different nationality could be found in Dubai at reasonable prices.

A general question that comes to our mind is whether India can achieve this kind of development and money generation. Has our democracy become a bane for us?

The question raised above is a serious question which needs to be investigated from multiple vantage points. Prima facie, it looks yes that democracy has turned the country into a slow bullock cart and put cap on the animalistic instinct of people. The extreme freedom of expression allows peoples to violate the law and create chaos in the system. The slow decision making create unnecessary hiccups in our development cycle. But deeper in the detail, one can see that problem is not with the democracy itself. Problem is not with the politics also. Problem lies at much basic level. After all, politics is general behavioral pattern of public and democracy is merely a template of behavior to public. Problem in India is that its society is failing itself. Politics is just a microscopic mirror of the social system. As a society we have failed each other. For instance, with all political will we launched demonetization but then as a society, we tried our best to assimilate and protect the black money hoarders and helped them turning their money into white. That's where we fail. Our law and order is very lenient. Our fatalistic attitude and forgotten principles of karma/duty results in chaos at traffic signal. The scale at which we need to execute our plans add another level of complexity in the whole system. Diversity in lifestyles further complicate the rule making and rule execution. One may ask, where lies the solution? Can we really wish for achche din? Can India or at least a part of it could be transformed into Dubai some day?

Yes is the only thought that comes to mind when one ponders over this question. The real question should have been when and how? But before that we need to answer why we think the answer to above questions is YES. The reason is democracy. Listen to any all India radio discussion at 9:30 Monday evening. One can hear people calling from remotest part of the India offering advices and giving suggestion over how should India go about the development and how can we succeed as a society. This is possible because we have democracy. Our people can be transformed into most law-abiding performance oriented people. All we need is strict law enforcement. The wisdom of democracy will soon take us to that path. But administration of such norms, rules and regulation is possible only with the spread of technology and education. This is the answer to how? The problem of India's woes lie in greater use of localized contextualized technology and educating our growing population with focus on specialization. UID is one very good initiative in this direction. Once in place fully, it can be panacea for most of our problems. People could be tracked and challaned for jumping traffic lights or peeing in public. All this is possible. Education will help in rectifying social system and help people in overcoming ethnic identities and local caste/class relations. And once achieved such status, it would be more sustainable because India is home to all sorts of natural resources and goods.

The development model of Dubai is standing on the sand. It sells dreams. It has created an ecosystem but the roots are not very deep. Contrary to it, in India roots are very deep. It is democracy. People have a sense of ownership. It is not subjected to whims and fancies of one good leader. We believe in institutions. But we have failed to give dreams to our population. We have failed to create an ecosystem. Time has come for us to work on our core competencies and utilize technology and education to reform two pillars of development i.e. law and order as well as society.

What the Duck

This series is hosted by Vikram Sathaye a failed cricketer but an outstanding presenter and stand-up comedian. In this, he hits off conversations with cricketers like Dravid, Sachin, and Bhajji. This series is more purposive, insightful and anecdotal than the Gaurav Kapoor's breakfast with Champion. The funny incidents of dressing room tell us about the other side of the spectrum. One thing which differentiates people at the top and people in the middle is that people at the top are people who are totally lost in their pursuits. They have no time for other nuisance things. There is nothing called balance. This speech of balance in life works for people in the middle. The activities of the life of such people are defined by concentration and focus and that's what makes them a champion.

There are so many activities to engage in the life that a person cannot be part of everything. One has to choose the life which one wants to live. We live in the age of super specialization. Champions are people who super-specialize in their domain. The super specialization demands a certain sense of madness and the highest level of consistency. Thus, one would do a great service to his career by developing this habit of madness and consistency.

Another striking feature of champions is the destiny. They all seem to be destined to achieve heights. Anyway will write about some interesting anecdotes later.

Breakfast with Champions

For past few months, I have wasted a huge amount of my time on America got talent. I call it a waste because even though it has some shockingly amazing performances but it is not inspiring. It does not provide life lessons. Most of it is magic where artists use sleight of hand or some even use magical powers to generate an awe effect. Thus, after getting bored from this series, I was looking for some more engaging material for my daily motivational appetite. Incidentally, I came across this series Breakfast with Champion. It is directed and produced by Gaurav Kapoor. He holds conversations with top-notch sportspersons. It is insightful and inspirational at times to listen to these people.

Today I watched nearly 7-8 of the episodes. It was good to know inside little details or anecdotes of cricketers life. Like Ashish Nehra's interview is so light-hearted that it motivates you to become little nonchalant and casual in life. Similarly, Yuvi, Yuvraj and Pandya's interview also gives glimpses in the champions life. One thing is they all believed in destiny. They were all focused people. and They lived life in a little fun way. Not very serious or planned manner. No unnecessary restrictions and things. The interview with Shoaib Akhtar is quite inspirational. It tells about winner's mentality.

At the end, champions are no different people. They are like you and me. They feel similar kind of anxiety and tension levels. They face similar troubles in life and goes through ups and downs. The most important thing in life is to live it in the fullest sense. Do what you believe and feel like. In a way, to become a champion, one needs to be little stubborn and little ambitious. Things start falling into place automatically.

Looking at the richness and opulence of Dubai, I asked my friend that what is the one thing he notices in the extremely rich people. His answer was quite predictable but assumed significance because as an investment banker he deals with people day in day out. He said "risk-taking ability". I wish he could have told me something more but his observations were limited. Looking at the riches of Dubai, I wondered how could one not be attracted to the pursuit of wealth and materialism. The whole atmosphere of the mall was filled with the fragrance of the exotic and expensive perfumes. The unlimited number of brand, unlimited number of stores and crowd at the sale made me say "man!! money seems to be flowing in the air here". For a moment, I imagined myself in that lifestyle but somehow I could not fit myself into that world. Maybe that's not my basic element but yes a desire for money did arouse in me.

Madhushala

Madhushala is Hindi poetry classic written in the year 1935 by legendary poet Shri Harivansh Rai Bachchan. It has 135 verses (rubaiyan). Shri Bachchan has explained the philosophy of life using the 4 analogies of Madhushala, saaki, haala, and pyaala. The depth of his poems is unfathomable. And the meaning is intenser than that. Anyone who understands this in detail will surely get nirvana from this earthly pain and disappointment. For such person, life will definitely become a wave of fun, pleasure, and happiness. Here I will try to explain my understanding of some of the favorite verses of Madhushala.



धर्म-ग्रान्ड सब जला चुकी है जिसके अंतर के ज्वाला
मंदिर मस्जिद गिरजे सब को तोड़ चुका जो मतवाला
पंडित मोमिन पादरियों के फंडोँ को जो काट चुका
कर शक्ति है आज उसे के स्वागत मेरी मधुशाला

Meaning: In this verse, the poet is explaining the characteristics of a person who can enjoy the life to the fullest. In this Madhushala refers to our life. According to the poet, only people who have overcome the artificial barriers created by religion will be able to enjoy the life in a complete fashion. One who is not entangled in the web created by priests, pundits, and others, one who become fearless and who has unshackled himself from restrictions and one who is like a madman whose inner dissonance and spiritual energies have burned down all the religious texts can only be the truly welcomed by life. For others, life always remains a pain. So live freely, live happily.

Party

Recently, I was invited to a full night out party by a friend to his place. I always wondered about what a full night party is like? What do people do? What do they discuss? What kind of activities people are involved in? In the past, I have had full night out discussions but they were more like bachelor discussions about girls, UPSC, and disclosing each other secrets. Some used to veer in the direction of serious political discussions. This was my first experience of an all-night party with settled high standard white collar population.

It was good to see people from another end of the spectrum. I wondered about the different degrees of discussion people have. They all were fun-loving suave junta with huge cross-cultural experience. Almost all of them had lived in 3 to 4 countries and traveled to nearly 10 or 15 countries. Apart from general bantering, the discussion revolved around marketing activities, Redbull, Padmavati and lot of ladies talks and drinks.

The skyline of the Dubai was beautiful. It was amazing to learn that how a visionary idea of Burj Khalifa changed the entire economics of a barren land. Once a deserted tract of land has turned into most beautiful and heavily populated area after construction of Burj Khalifa. I also learned about the interesting history of Emirates and how the oil had changed the economy of the region?

People danced and talked incessantly. I noticed that when we prepare for UPSC exam, our gossip level reduces. One most striking thing I learned by interacting and observing with the group is how outdated I am from the practical talks of art and culture. My knowledge of modern fads like football, movies, novels, cuisines, and finance is very limited. Further, I could feel a sense of detachment. Anyway, a lot more to write. Will write later about the experiences.

Burj Khalifa

There is so much to write that I feel neurotic at times about what to write and what not. I do not want this blog to become my chronology of life. Rather I wish to write some intellectually stimulating matter here. But I think a general diary note is a good beginning for a neurotic situation.
A week has passed in Dubai campus. I have engaged myself in numerous activities like counseling students, fitness regime, preparing my material and guiding students. It's all fun till now. I ventured out of campus to Mirdiff City center and recently was invited to an investment bankers party at a friend's place. Later the next day I went to Dubai Mall and saw the huge aquarium and Fountain show at Burj Khalifa. We also had Arabic dinner of Latef, Hummus, and khaboos.

The most striking thing about Dubai was the richness and opulence of people. The grandness in every scheme of things, details in the design, architecture, and orderliness are tough to miss or ignore. I asked my friend what is the one thing he would like to borrow to India? His answer was simple: Fear for the law. Fear of the sovereign.

Anyway, a lot of thoughts but all lying in the scattered fashion. I need to work on this. Will write more regularly in coming days.

Coming back to blog

Its been a long time since I posted my last blog. I could feel the itching in my palm. Everyday was a challenge in last 100 days. Covering the syllabus, meeting the daily goal and achieving the small targets were seeming like an endless acrobatics. But finally it came to an end. If not the end, then at least we can call it a pause. Mains exams were over and life seems to have taken a 180 degree turn. So turning over to the new page. The first thing to do in this pursuit is to begin the blogging. Hence comes this blog. 

As every auspicious work is started with some heavenly chants, my pursuit should also begin with the psychedelic other worldly chants of pink Floyd. Coming back to life.

Expectations

Budhdha spent his whole life teaching about the illness of expectations and desires but we the incorrigible ones falter every time. So addictive and pleasurable is the quest of expectation and its fulfillment.

Whatever be the walk of life, as soon as we invest even an iota of our energy, we develop expectations. Be it a love relation, or a work relation or even relationship with your own selves, expectations breed everywhere. For instance, if we study 6 hours for 6 days then the natural quest is to now study 7 hours next time. Even if we are a contented soul, the expectation of continuing with 6 hours on the seventh days arises. And that's where the trouble lies.   

We are fortunate to belong to be born and brought up in the age of great sportspersons like Usain Bolt, Sachin Tendulkar, and Roger Federer. They have made even impossible look minion. The single minded focus, persistence and highest level of work ethics they carry with them is an inspiration for the younger generation. But with great achievements come great expectations. 

For instance, today was Usain Bolt's last 100 Meter race in a competitive setup. With 11 gold medals under his belt, his is by far the best athlete world has produced in this era. Quite natural to human behavior, everyone expected him to win the gold once more, one last time as a tribute to his great career. Even he had similar expectations with himself. But just when everyone expects something to happen in some way, a twist occurs. This last race was also an opportunity for his fellow racer Justin Gatlin to beat Usain Bolt and break the jinx of being a silver medalist every time, just behind Bolt in every race.

The race began. Bolt was not off to great start neither was Gatlin. The irony of a 100-meter race is that it lasts even shorter than a premature ejaculation. So theoretically if a sneeze occurs as soon as the race begins, then there is a very high chance that race will be over before your sneeze. Hyperbolically, we can say it finishes before it even begins. Well, when the two greats are up against each other, time stops. Every moment feels like an eternity, a fight of skills, hopes, and expectations of not just the players but their millions of friends. Generally, Bolt is out and out a winner in the race between the two greats. Once on the field, he is just a different sort of person. Different confidence, a different persona. His running reminds me of the efficiency and accuracy with which piston of diesel engine works.

But today was a different script. It was a Gatlin day. He pipped past Bolt and unbolted his winning streak. Gracefully, he bowed before Bolt after the race and tears started flowing from his eyes. Bolt was also graceful in giving his trademark posture but didn't look cheerful as he generally is. The face was not glowing with satisfaction and content. And then came the words for his fans, "I am sorry, I couldn't finish on a winning note". The devil of expectation was roaring his head. 

For some, even the participation in the race would have been life time achievement. For some, even watching the race live would have been satisfying but for Bolt, nothing less than a gold, nothing other than gold could have brought a smile on his face. The devil of expectation took away his smile and peace. Winning a bronze did not look exciting to him. 

But wait. Is expectation a real devil? Is it not the energizer of his action-filled races? Was it not for his expectations in the past which made him perform exceptionally well and set new records every time? Afterall, expectations help us in rising high, pushing our limits and helps in fuelling our actions. And they are not as devilish as Budhdha portrayed them.

Expectations, hope, actions, and desires are the interlinked concepts of the wishful thinking. It ignites the flames of human action. But sadly, in the process, we forget the importance of contentment and satisfaction. We forget where we had begun. We forget what we had in the beginning. That's where the disappointment, anger, frustration, tension, anxiety, jealousy and other negative emotions occur.

So the trick is to engage in human action,  without any expectation of reciprocity. Accept whatever comes your way with grace. Try your best to beat your odds but don't loose your heart in the process. Just keep walking, keep working, keep laughing, keep cheering, keep praying, and keep enjoying all that life throws at you. May be that's what Budhdha also had in mind when he thought of expectations.

Vaccum within

Music is divine sound which fills the void in the space. All the holy and divine scriptures of the world call sound of OM as the beginning point of the Universe. I too believe strongly in the sound of OM and music especially ragas like Bhairavi.

But there are times when standing among thousands of people, surrounded by friends, family members, merrymaking gleeful crowd of people rocking on the dance floor, I feel a void in my heart. There are times when I look at the dense sky, big rain drops falling on the tree leaves, creating a crackling sound, air breeze hitting my cheeks, and I sense a kind of emptiness within. And what can describe the sense of nullity when I look at the full moon, the bright light of which falls on my temple and pre-frontal cortex and create an exhilarating sensation in the entire body? It feels like I am not a right fit for these worldly pleasures. I am made for something bigger. I feel disconnected with the force of nature. But then there are times when all I wish is to hear Linkin Park or Pink Floyd or Michael Jackson. It is difficult to describe. It is the innermost feeling of my self.

May be it is just the figment of my imagination? May be it is just the state of trance or overworked mind? May be I am giving too much importance to myself? It may be a state of schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder. But may be I am born for some higher purpose. All my life, I keep hearing that everyone is sent to earth with a specific purpose or vision. The forces of destiny conspire at every moment to push us towards our purpose. I feel too much curious and excited to know about the force of destiny and his plan for me.

Somewhere, I need a force which can fill this void. I feel the need of a force which is strong willed, loyal, loving, and courageous.

Yet the force should be forgiving, encompassing, enriching, polite, emotive, independent and soothing. A force which multiplies my prowess and does not become an investment over my resources. A force which helps in steering my energies in the right direction and through right channels. A force which can help me in connecting with the cosmic force. A force which becomes my strength and not my weakness. A force which can fill the void and not widen my emptiness. May be I am selfish. May be I am narrow. May be I am demanding. May be I am right.

The books

A thought popped up in my mind so just listing it here.
1. Psychology paper 2 book
2. Psychology Q and A book
3. A self-help book for UPSC aspirants
4. A book on Brain Drain [Kind of research work]
5. Meri Kailash Yatra

Will write these books in time to come.

The Chinese chowmine

The India China border dispute has taken a turn for the worse. The Doklam road construction issue is escalating in a manner which pushes the two nations who have not fired a single bullet in last 40 years on the path of war.
India is considering the Doklam as an area associated with Tri-Junction whereas China claims it as her sovereign territory. Given Chinese rhetoric and belligerent reaction, the issue may lead to a short term war against Chinese. In this regard, we need to raise some relevant questions.

First: Is India right in asserting itself in Doklam area?
The answer is yes. India has long been on a back foot vis-a-vis China. Be it OBOR-CPEC, Azhar Masood issue, Brahmaputra dam issue, NSG membership or trade deficit between the two nations, India could never get across Chinese wall on the international forums. This is leading to a diffident image of India across the world.
So, by asserting itself on Doklam issue, India would reinstall confidence among its partner nations and its citizenry that it is capable of protecting their as well as its own national interest. It would send a clear signal to Beijing which seems to be playing violin over our defensive approach that India can not be taken for granted.

Second: What if the war breaks out between the two nation?
There is an old saying that in war, winners lose and losers die. This may have been true in the pre-19th-century era but it is not true anymore. The wars of the 21st century are controlled short term strategic wars. In this context, A war with China would be good for our country. It will lead to anti-China rhetoric in our country and would dampen the trade and commerce with Beijing. This will prove to be a godsend opportunity to revive the dying Make-in India project.
The general business principles tell that Make in India can not succeed unless we displace China in some or other way. The war could be one very strong excuse to put trade imposition against China. There is an old adage, "Necessity is the mother of all inventions". Any kind of trade embargo would boost Indian innovation.
Further, It'll flush out the free radicals from Indian ecosystem by infusing the nutrients of patriotism. It'll awaken the society from a state of deep slumber and help in reinvigorating the national consciousness. Moreover, this will also give us time to put GST in place.

But then another question: Is India prepared for war?
The answer is no country would ever be prepared for a war. But India is better placed than what could have been a situation 5 years ago when Daulat Beg Oldie happened. The reason being, Government is financially in a sound position due to high FDI and better tax collection. Inflation is at an all time low. This will allow RBI to mint new currency without adding too much to the inflationary pressure. Monsoon is going to be good so India will have enough on its plate. Trade is any way slow due to GST issue. So war-time will increase the economic activities. NPA crisis is an issue which may worsen things further but the excuse of war will allow the government to take extraordinary measures to handle the issue. The extraordinary issue may be in the form of nationalization of the resources or heavy taxation or financial emergency and alike measures. Overall, in the economic sense, we are very well placed though not fully prepared to tackle the consequences of war.

But could the same thing be said for military preparations as well?
The answer is No. The Indian military is severely unprepared to deal with the Chinese challenge. The 2012 proposal of training a mountain force to tackle the Chinese challenge has remained on the paper. Therefore, we must devise a right exit strategy even before entering this realist game of power politics.

But if the military is certain to face defeat in the game of power politics then what is the point?
The point is India should go for a controlled short term rhetorical war. In fact, War would be a wrong choice of words. Let us call it a micro-battle between India and China in a border area of 2 kilometers. Indian leadership and diplomacy should follow the progress closely and rather than winning the war, we should leverage this to defeat China diplomatically and economically.

At the least, by way of Doklam issue, China should get a clear message that India can not be taken for granted anymore.

Modi 2.0 update

Modi Ji continues to impress us with his new ideas, idioms, mnemonics and politics. He is a man of vision and action. In a short span of three years, who has undertaken major reforms like Swachha Bharat, Demonetization and Goods and services tax. All of them were very desirable initiatives having a lot of popular appeal. Possibly, this is the reason for his rating of credibility in the nation. After steamrolling the opposition in UP, he is all set to get a majority in Rajya Sabha in time to come. This will certainly make him the most powerful leader since the time of Indira Gandhi.

But a moot question which we need to raise is whether any of his efforts really yielding any result? 

Recently Supreme court remarked that holy Ganga has become a drain for wastage of money. Nearly 12000 crores are being spent but not even a drop of Ganga has got cleaned? Similarly, a large share of the money was wasted on the entire drama of demonetization but no accounting is done on the results. Nearly 65 people died standing in the queue but the nation does not know how much amount of black money is filtered in the system.   Kashmir is burning like hell. All the goodwill progress of last 20 years seems to be undone in first 20 months of the government. Same is the story of GST. The business community is so ill-informed and scared of the move that market has taken a serious dip since the launch of GST.

But Modi Ji is still able to sustain his development and change propaganda and bhakts are singing paeans of his vision at a louder voice, shriller than before. His argument is these are short-term pain for long-term gain. This is true because all these changes are just a matter of time. As a fact, the country can never be fully prepared to deal with these changes. Sooner or later, whichever government is in power, measures like tax reforms and cleanliness awareness campaign are necessary pills for the nation's development. But as a responsible leader, one can not overlook the negative aspects of such initiatives. 

In a country, where a large segment of the population lives on the fringe, such path breaking radical changes runs the risk of massive unemployment and social-economic churning.   In such scenario, execution becomes the weakest link of the governance. For example, Swacha Bharat failed because there was no proper execution. It is difficult to find a public loo or a dustbin in most of the crowded public places. This is sad. One is forced to turn his pocket or bag as a dustbin to keep India clean. Schemes like start-up India, and other missions are also falling apart. 

Modi Ji would better serve the country if he looks into the behavioral and usability aspect of policy making and policy execution. Changing policy and laws is the easier part of the government. The real problem lies in changing the attitude of people. The media of the day is generous to him but history never forgives the failure. This is high time to act for him. The choice is his. Either he can be Allauddin Khilji of post modern India or he could be remembered as Muhammad Bin Tughlaq of 21st century.

A glimpse from the past

Nowadays, I am poring over my old notes and assimilating my old knowledge base which I had mastered once. While poring over my notes, I came across a 6 line principle akin to what Gandhi Ji proposed as six sins. Here I am listing them for public consumption:

Knowledge without presentation
Strategy without adaptability
Preparation without confidence

Have no relevance.

Excitement without drugs
Happiness without reason
Action without anxiety

Are key to success.

Nowadays, I am missing my daily targets too often. It is bad. Really bad. When I contemplate on this, the reason is clear. I miss the target because I don't set a target. There are so many new things unfolding in life. But I am not sure about what to write and what to skip? Overall, It is fun.   Exam pressure is slowly building up. The syllabus is huge. At one point, it seems like "I know it all" and then suddenly the gears change and I feel like "There is so much to do". Deep somewhere I know it's all manageable. My only wish is to get over my inertia of daily writing. Rest would automatically fall in place. 

An old-time friend visited a few days back. It came as a surprise visit. I am still not sure about the purpose of the visit. But it was good talking to him, listening to his experiences and knowing the other side of the world.

Nowadays, most of my time goes into preparing for the subject. But the mode of preparation is very haphazard. There is no real target for any day. This is like an unforgivable sin for a person preparing for the examination. Another issue is fragmentation of the day in a variety of activities which reduces the productivity of study hours. For example, writing this blog in the middle of the day when I have so much pending all around. All it requires is some sort of strict intervention and discipline on my part. The feeling is slowly building up. Hopefully, this routine thing will get fixed on its own.

Some very important developments are in process. But dropping those details here would be unjust to their importance. Rest is fun, love and peace.  

Deja Vu

It's a lovely morning, drizzling, cool and cloudy weather. Yesterday was UPSC preliminary examination. It was culmination point of weeks of prelims oriented preparation. The 48 hours period before, during and after the UPSC examination is an emotional journey which takes one to the totally unthinkable trajectory. 

The day before the exam is filled with uncertainty, anxiety, and fear. Somewhere it is interlaced with confidence and inner belief in success. Anxiety drives you to sleeplessness. People find it difficult to sleep on the night before. Despite months and years of preparation, no one can be sure about what kind of paper UPSC might set. 

The day of examination is generally dealt in preparing ourselves to deal with unpredictability which UPSC will throw predictably. As each second passes in the examination hall, one may wonder why did he leave one topic and chose other and how he could have done something more for the examination? But all of this comes with an advantage of hindsight. During the preparation, aspirants have so much to read and study that it is very difficult to pick and choose one thing over the others. And add UPSC's unpredictability to this entire scheme and it gets very difficult. 

As the exam gets over, everyone heads home. Some go to a friend's place or find avenues for releasing tension. Answer sheets flood the market. None of them is perfect but people use them for tallying their score. This is when another strange emotion occurs. For me, this year was a strange experience. Some sort of fear had gripped me and I was very reluctant in checking my total. Given this year was the last attempt so a negative result would have set the tone for the rest of the life. Checking the total was akin to a person uncovering a face of a covered dead body praying to the god internally that it does not turn out to be a known person. 

Overall, UPSC preparation is like living the life on the edge, in the realm of uncertainty and emotional turmoil. It is a very difficult journey and it requires a very strong balance of mind.  For that matter, it is a similar experience with any other dream in life. An experience worth experiencing and enjoying.

Quest for an identity

A scurry look at your surrounding and you will find everyone hurrying around, trying to catch up with time, doing multiple things simultaneously and running short of time. Why has this become a trend of the global work culture? Why are people so busy and so anxious all the time? Why can't we simply walk instead of racing or relax instead of being anxious? 

These conundrums do not have a simple straight answer. Oftentimes, it is fear. Fear of unknown. Fear of losing job or missing out on assignment or failing in the competition. But a deeper analysis shows that it is more than just the factor of fear. It is a compulsive craving to carve out an identity for yourself.  It is an issue of identity achievement or identity crisis whichever way one may like to call it.

The global work culture has created a norm system where individual identity is tied to his economic achievements. Economics is the hard reality of the modern era. Thus most of the struggle revolves around achieving an identity which can ensure good economic well-being. In this interrelationship of economics and identity, the job becomes a major fulcrum around which everything revolves. Therefore, most of the people run for such job which is high money paying. This will give better economic security and as a result better identity. Alternatively, people go for jobs which are more secure and cushy in nature. Here also the purpose remains the same. 

So what is the way out? The way out is to discard the quest for identity. Discard the quest for being well known or well recognized. Once one is able to do that then there is no compulsive need for economic security or high paying job. One can easily relax and have fun. But it is easier said than done. From one angle, this may indicate a defeatist attitude. From another angle, this shows avoidance attitude. 

Good Night.

Whirlwind

A night of joy and happiness for many of my friends but also a night of gloom and uncertainty for few others. Another year of UPSC result. There is so much to write but I'll limit myself to three dimensions and my learnings from them.

First is about the importance of consistency in pursuit: The punishment for heinous crime is 7 years rigorous imprisonment. For some candidates, UPSC does become a heinous crime. Years after years, they continue to mill day and night for this exam but in the end, it all turns futile. However, there are some who achieve their goal and make it big. One such friend is Priyank. Yesterday seeing him through made me feel joyous and happy. I could share his happiness vicariously. He went through numerous ups and downs but kept his calm. All the self-respect and esteem was put on the stake. Life hinged on UPSC. Eventually, success touched his feet. A standing ovation to his consistency pursuit.

Second is about the importance of positive thinking in the pursuit: I came across a candidate who no one had expected to clear the examination but in the end, she cleared it with a bang. It is a perfect story of a minion overcoming a tiger and riding on it. One would be left wondering that how could she do it? She was always so full of doubt and uncertainty. In her words, one thought that 'nobody knows the result and she could be the rank one' ignited the feeling of self-belief amid all the clouds of darkness and doubts.  

The third is about the importance of accepting of the result: Some of my friends invested entire decade into this examination. One failure is relatively easy to swallow but a series of failure is too hard to absorb. One may start doubting the concept of God, or hard work, and often question his destiny. In the midst of so much negativity, the real stars are those who are able to get up after each failure and walk unscathed and indifferently in the middle of demolishing dreams.  These are the pure souls. One who have undergone transformation and who have learned the reality of the life. The reality is life is a myth. We take so much of it for granted. 

My learnings:

Believe in your stars. They listen and respond to your beliefs.

Life is simple. Take it easy. Do not compare. Just chill. Your happiness could be your biggest reward. Those who clear it may be happy for a moment but those who understand the nature and vagaries of life through this exam will be happy eternally. 

Consistency, positive thinking, and resilience is the way to go.

Love

What is love?

Sachin loved cricket
Phelps loved Swimming
Pele loved Football
Heer loved Ranjha

Love is bliss
Love is divine
Love is joy
Love is wine

Love is music
Love is calm
Love is peace
Love is balm

Love is sweet
Love is share
Love is freedom
Love is care

Love is moot
Love is dance
Love is happy
Love is trance

Love is life
Love is jolly
Love is soul
Love is holy

[Alpha to Beta, Alpha to Beta: Tring Tring Current current..aaaaaaaaaah]

Love is hell
Life becomes drama
Love is pain
Gives you trauma

Love is fault
Makes one blind
Many conditions
Never free mind

Love is Dance
Dance on chance
Drink alcohol
Get your trance

Love is eve
Love is Adam
Have sex
Forget madam

[Wake up sid.. wake up]

Oh yeah,
Love is pious
Love is loyal
Love your wife
Live as royal

Love is liquid
Love is gas
Love is moment
Love is bash

Love Love Love
Where are you?
Reach me out

Hmm, wake up sid wake up
You can't love

But Why?

Hmm, Love is not caste
Love is not beauty
Love is not white
Love is not sexy

Love is not religion
Love is not words
Love is not thoughts
Love is not nerds

Love is Love
Love yourself
Love your wife
Love your children
Love your life

Love the darkness
Love the hate
Love the pity
Love all mates

Love adds
Love multiplies
Never subtract
Nor divides

Open your heart, open your eyes
Feel others, keep thoughts aside

Energy flow and vibes dance
Feeling of god, gateway to trance

I can not be defined.......

Indian Diaries: Amazination 1.0

How would one describe India? A land of possibilities. A land of opportunities. A land full of contradictions and misgivings. One cursory reading of a day's newspaper headlines would tell that it's nearly impossible to capture its soul in a single word. It is simply an "amazing nation". Let's see how?

Pick up your daily newspaper and see the pattern of headlines. Front page full picture of Mumbai Indians lifting the IPL title with full pomp and style reminds us about the vibrancy and dynamism in the country. The media bytes of Modi and AdityaNath show the changing face of politics in the nation. Two celibates are occupying two of the most important office in the country. Scroll down further, one can spot the news related to Indian culture, dance forms which exhibit the richness and depth of Indian culture. For a moment take Sarhul festival of Jharkhand which celebrates the bond between the society and Nature. Similarly, one can find news item related to godmen and mystics who perform some or other magic to defeat the logic of sciences. The viewpoint of the land of possibilities and opportunities is also reinforced by the news items of India's praise by some international organization or some leader of international repute. Increasing digitalization, democratization and demography promise a safe future for the nation.

Despite all the positivity which exuberates from above kind of items, one can ignore the dark side at this own peril. Saharanpur caste violence, slipping Kashmir, class and gender violence, terror, and throat severing competition amid corruption tell a totally different story. One can not help but feel uncertain of the future of the country. The increasing competition for resources, a dangerous level of population pressure and lack of institutional leadership indicate that country is bound to go down on the path to hell unless corrective measures are not put in place by some decisive leadership. Sometimes the negativity is so high that it is simply soul-scaring.

In this duality of existence lies the contradictions and the misgivings of India. I am starting this series of daily blogs to capture some successful and failure stories of the national journey of survival and development. Hope it will enrich mine and your world view in time to come. Till then Good Night.

Flying time

The best and the worst thing in UPSC preparation is that the time flies faster than the speed of light. It's a strange world. Whatever you do, there are no right or wrong standards. Only your selection decides whether what you did was right or wrong?

One of the most difficult thing in life is to maintain a disciplined schedule. The bigger challenge is to recover the schedule after a break.

There are so many things to write about but some days I just don't feel like writing. But then I got to write.How should I begin? How should I pick up the broken schedule? How should I go about it? I have no clue.

Life becomes bland at times. There are moments when you wish to settle down but such moments are hard to come.

You need to keep telling yourself "Happy happy happy". I suffer from task amnesia. Jumping randomly from one branch to the other. All I need is to keep the calm and keep preparing. That's it.

I finished Sapiens but I am yet to post a review for the same. It was a wonderful read. Very wonderful I would say. It helps in understanding the minion existence of humans in the history. War love life empires everything was covered.

Now I am reading Swami Paramahamsa Yogananda. A good read. I need to be more punctual about it.

Do not forget few principles:
1. Make a schedule
2. Follow it with sincerity

Don't be afraid of anything. Go on and on and on.
I used to write regularly. Then I stopped then I begun again. Then I again stopped. Then I begin again and then I again stopped.
You stopped. You fluttered. You fall but its ok. Rise again and keep walking. Maybe slow. Maybe a little but do walk on the path.

Life is long. Keep your calm. Shiva-Shakti is with you.
Forget about the whole world for next 6 months. Let people make comments. Just write and write.

Anti-romeo squads in UP

The era of Yogi has begun in the most populous state of India i.e. Uttar Pradesh. Anti-Romeo squads are doing rounds on the street of U.P. in an attempt to catch hold of eve-teasers in the city. It is a welcome step as it would help in empowering the women by making them more safe and secure but how far it could be implemented successfully is yet to be seen.

The weakest link in the chain is the enforcing authority which is the police force of the state. To people's dismay, the police of the state are not sensitized enough to deal with these issues amicably.

Firstly, often they are on the other side of the fence as an eve-teasers. The askance look with which they view a mini-skirt clad women or the derogatory manner in which they deal with a lawful couple in itself raises eyebrows over their own capacity to deal with such issues. For example, police tonsured the head of a couple of such Romeos. This speaks volume about the unprofessional manner of policing.

Secondly, the false positives and the media coverage given to such cases shed an alarming threat to this policy. For example, two siblings were caught by police and despite their repeated request, police did not heed to their plea. In a culture where any two opposite sex teens who roam together are considered love birds, it is difficult to enforce these anti-Romeo guidelines in a proper manner.

Thirdly, the enforcing authority itself suffers from the bug of patriarchy. What kind of real empowerment could they bring then? This needs to be busted first. In fact, this is not just limited to the police personnel. Rather the political leadership needs to refine their views on the issue of patriarchy.

Till now the anti-Romeo squads have not transceded to the boundary of fascism where women is to motherhood as men is to war. But only time will tell, how the real implementation will unfold. As a measure of change and statement of resolve to make UP a Uttam Pradesh, this is a good beginning but we need to carefully watch its implementation.

The rise and fall of Kapil Sharma

There is a saying, initially, you drink the alcohol then the alcohol drinks you. Nothing can prove it better than the face-loosing crisis of Kapil Sharma theatrical antics in an inebriated state. His rant against Doctor Mashoor Gulati and DadiJi a.k.a. Ali Asgar on the Air India flight was not just shocking but also disgusting. It is a nice example of the evil face of money and fame. As rightly put forth by Lord Acton, power corrupts.

Kapil Sharma had become a face of comedy in the recent years. Though many people never found his thoughts funny as they were often tilted to the side of sarcasm and vulgarity. Nevertheless, his 'baba Ji ka thullu' happen to become a widely accepted catchword among the younger generation. He rose to prominence with award winning performances year after year. It became a sort of ritual for every new movie launch to appear on the sets of TKSS to promote their movie. The conversations on the show were never very tickling except that a mutual leg pulling among the characters of the show happens to evoke laughter among the viewers. Now the castle of comedy is falling like a palace of sand.

No doubt that Sharma struggled hard in the early years of life so he had every reason to celebrate his success and that too with the pomp. But hubris is the biggest enemy of our success. Once it sets in, it becomes difficult to respect fellow human beings. At the end, everyone struggles with some or other thing in life. No one dies a virgin. Life screws everyone. So what's the high about?

A person has to be clean not just from outside but also from inside. It is not really easy. Every one of us is maligned in our thought in some or other way which is fine as we are a lesser mortal. To err is human. But this is where alcohol comes into play with its killing effect. People often talks about controlled drinking. However, it is often seen that there is no controlled drinking. Either you do it or you don't.

To understand this, let us understand the process of drinking. You take one glass just for the sake of joy. In a party, you may consider it as part of socialization. At times, one may drink it to feel a little high. On a normal day, it is perfectly fine to drink. But what happens on a day when you are upset about something. The first refuge is to have a conversation with friends or family member and talk the frustration out. OK. Fair enough. But what is the so-called support system is broken or you enter into a fight with that family member itself. The ultimate refuge to light up the mind is to drink. Just a little little.

The little drink has a cathartic influence on that day. And that's where it starts displacing the human support system. Eventually, it sets in your veins and people gulp one bottle after the other. All the barriers of unconscious mind stand broken. And the real self-burst out in the open and people become Kapil Sharma.

His episode had some very important lessons of life.

1. Do not drink.

2. Thank god for every pleasurable moment of your life.

3. Respect fellow beings.

A similar celebrity saga of misdeed has unfolded in the recent weeks. Anurabh Kumar of The Viral Fever is accused of sexual molestation. That tells a side effect of promiscuity which is much more powerful to resist than Alcohol. Will write about the same some other time.

Poem

Those who live on the edge do not wear a badge
Difficult and demanding it brings out the best

Stand and fall like pieces of chess
One who remains tall does not become trash

Distractions galore, excuses abound, edge repeals, turn you down
fall and fail infinite times, but come on track to get your crown

Friends leave, force dissipates, standing alone, gauging your gaze
confusion, drama, Will gets trapped, walk and walk to come out of maze

Ray of sun, a ray of hope, make new beginning, make a move
forget the past, learn the game, gem will shine, time will prove

Madness, craze, your design, bring them back, you will shine
Gone is gone, don't regret, take it easy, utilize your time

Funny contradictions of a critical situation

Sometimes there are situations which are so contradictory that expressing your real emotions can land you in real trouble. So what do you do? You simply withhold your emotions and may choose to express them in your private space. This is what happened with Pappu.

Pappu was roaming on the Delhi street on a sunny day. He was caught up with a little cold and mild fever. These two are like his siamese twins. His frequency of catching a cold is probably greater than a newlyweds frequency of having an intercourse. Cold is one such strange disease. It is like Betal with the king Vikram. It may last for eternity but it never kills. It just feels good roaming with you to every place you visit. It sits on your head, makes you release sperm like liquid from your nose which is near your mouth.

Anyway, Pappu thoughtless wandering was interrupted with a phone call from his home. A familiar baritone of his father appeared from the other end. But this time around, the tone lacked the usual enthusiasm and authority. It was slightly dull and heavy. Pappu as usual at his smart best immediately asked the question. "Tai thik hai?". The voice from the other end turned spiritual. He was informed that his aunt has been put on sallekhana and she may last only a few hours.

Pappu never really cared for his family members. Last time when his father had to undergo a surgery, he did not attend. However, he did visit his home later in the day after receiving a couple of phone call but the visit did not go without receiving welcome comments from extended family members. But in last few years Pappu has paid attention to his family and he ensures that he do not miss any sad incidents. People have a tendency to remember who all were not present in their bad times. Contrary to this, presence and absence do not matter in the good times. The phone call was still on despite some usual channel disturbances and traffic noise. After a second's thought Pappu asked his father, should I come then? In the usual uncertain tone which he father usually deliver for any such important situation including one of his surgery father said: "dekh le"? Pappu cut the call with a curt remark "chalo dekhta hun".

Pappu left home at the age of fourteen. Since then, all the decisions of his life are taken by himself. Initially, he was a confused soul who would think ten times before taking a decision but gradually he has evolved as a decision maker. He decides quickly. Most of the time, decisions are wrong. But he prefers to enjoy the consequences of a wrong decision over a state of indecision. This has fetched him a greater peace of mind. This time the decision was not tough. He knew it from the precedents. He quickly checked for the available train and good to his fortunes, he was able to get a ticket home on a train scheduled to leave in the next hour.

Rarely in the history of Indian Railways, a train leaves at a right time and reaches the destination at the right time. But this day was unusual. It was a sunny day with mild wind and Pappu was with his brothers cold and fever. Pappu often asked his brothers, why do you accompany me everywhere? The brothers always shrugged their shoulders at this question and responded with 20 more sneezes and a truck load of sperm like liquid from the nostrils. Though pappu always keep diapers i.e. handkerchief in his pocket but even they become saggy and soaked with so much mucus.

One possible reason was lesser immunity. But Pappu had good willpower and he used to eat a lot of chwanprash in his early years. Immunity could not be the right reason. There has to be something more. Maybe it was lack of discipline. The irregular sleep pattern and diet schedule generally wakes up these sleeping monsters of cold and fever.

Pappu reached Agra on time. He immediately got into an auto and headed home. There were around 10 to 15 vehicles parked outside his house. Pappu could see the density of people from a distance. He asked auto wallah to stop the auto at least 20 yards before the house. But this is where the first contradiction occurs. Auto wallah would never hear the command in the first go and race you directly into the crowd. Eventually, the brakes were applied and it could screech exactly in front of the House. It was as if Shahrukh khan was getting down from Helicopter in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam. All eyes suddenly get fixated on the auto. Pappu quite unsure of his reaction stepped out and with faint and muted smile greeted everyone. In India, the social system is so complex. Generally, in such situation out of 20 faces, 10 would be normal and dull faces, and 4 or 5 swollen faces. The rest would be smiling and business as usual scenarios. One may wonder what would be an appropriate response in such a situation? If you smile to the group of 5 then the eyebrows of rest 15 would be raised and if you cry and possibly you attract so much unwanted attention and people turn overly sympathetic towards the victim of reaction neurosis. The best way is to keep a dull face but sometimes the irony of the situation does not allow that to happen.

Anyhow, Pappu managed to come out of auto amid forty eyeballs which were noticing every small action of Pappu. He was not a very social guy. As he left home at an early agee so all his learnings of social behaviors have either come from movies or from the world which was indifferent to him. So over a period of time, even pappu had turned indifferent to the world. He did not know whether to head straight to his room or go to report his father about his arrival or directly go to the side of his aunt and tell her about his arrival? To his good fortune, people become a guiding agent in such situation. Suddenly, an elder cousin brother came and took Pappu's hand in his hand. Then after Pappu did not have to take a decision. He guided Pappu immediately to the side of his ailing aunt. Nearly 30 to 40 people had surrounded the debilitated body. Everyone made way for Pappu. The whole house rang with the chorus "Kaun Aaya, Pappu aa gaya". The same question was asked by nearly 10 to 20 people and they received the same response in a hushed tone from a person standing next to them. Pappu was introduced to his aunt who could barely open her eyes. Ladies of the house asked Pappu "Baat karo taiji se". Pappu was just unprepared for any sort of conversation. He was still figuring out the gravity of the situation. Even on a normal day, he did not know what to talk except about his studies and may be a little bit about his sperm. But even this was limited to a private audience. He was totally stumped. Obviously, the aunt would not have responded to any of the things which Pappu would have said. She was in a state of half death so now it was supposed to be a monologue. Just like we do when we play with a six-month-old kid. This is another contradiction of the situation. Everyone expect Pappu to say something which can make her aunt move her eyes or lips. But Pappu was not good at making punch lines. He was good with Namaste, though. Pappu wondered, should I ask about her health or should I try to make her laugh or should I simply sit and ignore the chorus of "baat kar, baat kar". He was confused. However, considering the irony of the situation, he made a quick decision and conveyed his namaste to his aunt.

Pappu kept his hand on her forehead. An instant connection was established between his eyes and his aunt's eyes. Aunt looked at him with her half-closed eyes. Pappu realized the sanctity of the situation. Slowly Pappu moved his mouth to the ears of her aunt and whispered "Taiji mein Pappu".

Pappu was one of the naughtiest children in the entire locality. One of his common pranks was to mimick his aunt in her absence. He used to direct all the ladies of the house in the voice of her aunt. Those were the funny days.Her aunt had a big jaamun tree at home. When Pappu used to come back from his vacation from college, her aunt used to send her a bowl full of jaamun from the tree. Over the years, the tree was cut. Pappu left the birth place and his visit s to home reduced and Aunt's health deteriorated.Today was the day to relive those sweet memories. If not for Pappu then at least for her Aunt who was nearing the death bed.

An expressionless gaze covered the face of her aunt. She blinked her eyes, telling Pappu that she has recognized him. An emotional connection got established between Pappu and her Aunt. A tear rolled from the side of her eyes. Pappu's hand grip on the forehead got stronger and he pressed the hand against her head as if he was trying to tell her that she will get well soon. But they both know that now it is no more a possibility. She has sat on Sallekhana i.e. the highest passage to the death.

Whenever Pappu visited her Aunt, she would ask her about her death and how sooner is it going to come? Pappu always told her that she is going to live for another twenty years. All those lies are being shattered on this day. Death was somewhere near twenty hours. Everyone including the aunt were waiting for it to come. Another funny contradiction of a critical situation of a life. Instead of praying for her life and health, people were praying for her death and peace. Pappu may never be able to fathom with these situations of life. 

Everybody was feeling hungry but no one was comfortable saying it on the face. But then people would sheepishly walk to the back of the kitchen and fill their tummy in a hush-hush tone. Everybody was desperate for things to finish fast but no one wished to say this. It was something forbidden. Another funny situation of a critical life circumstance. 

Enough for the day. Pappu is going to sleep now. 

A departing soul

There are certain practices in Jainism with which I do not agree entirely. One of them is Santhara or Sallekhana. In this, a soul pledges to gradually renunciate all the material and bodily pleasures and depart for the heavenly abode. A saint administers santhara or sallekhana to the departing soul whose time on the earth nears the end. Generally, a hardcore practitioner takes a sallekhana of seven to ten days. But even a common man who is nearing his end of life could be administered santhara. It is considered highest form of passage to the next life.

However, there is a little caveat. How would one know that hs or she is nearing the death? Most of the time, death is sudden. Even when death is gradual like in the case of prolonged illness, it is near impossible to tell the precise time of the death. That's where the lies the whole debate over whether santhara is a motivated suicide or forced administration of death or is it willing acceptance of holy renunciation of the body.

Mostly it is a peaceful process. In the case of common man, it is administered when doctors give up and ask the family members to prepare for the last moment. In the case of saints, they themselves find out their designated time of death using their super powers and sit on santhara. But there are times when both forms of prediction fail. The departing soul suffers, it asks for water and other things but it is denied due to religious strictures. The living body flutters, pants, and welters. Maybe it says that don't push me to death. It is as if the body is saying that maybe I was near death on the hospital bed but now suddenly I am fine. I wish to live. People wait for the death to come but life does not go. It remains there. Maybe because eros is always more than Thanatos. Even in such situation, religion finds its own way of explaining things.

It is essential that person's will is counted whether they would like to be placed on Santhara in the event of medical emergency and doctors failure. Otherwise, the case is out in open for others to consider it as a forced death or motivated suicide.

Learning of the day

Work in the silence. Let your success make the noise. Focus requires renunciation, intentional ignorance of all the possible distraction. It requires commitment and one should apply the Gandhian talisman to decide if something is distraction or attraction.

I also learned the concept of compound interest in life. Einstein once said that compound interest is the most amazing thing in life. A gradual addition of skills and knowledge takes us to unimaginable heights. A daily bit of addition acts as a compound interest and return big rewards in life.

Another hard lesson I learned is time is more valuable than money. Earlier I had a habit of using public transport because it helps in saving time, energy and conserve mental resources. Driving self-vehicle is not a great fun exercise in India. For the past two months, I changed it and started using the bike too often. Today I learned the lesson that using Bike or Car is useless except when you are with your girlfriend. It is always advisable to use public transport. One can utilize the time and be more productive at his task. If one can bear then private transport is even a better option.

Anyway, I have wasted the entire week and feel so disappointed with myself that I am not finding the right words to put on the blog. Will mark a new beginning from tomorrow morning. Good night for now.