Marriage compatibility test

Last night I had an intense discussion with my friends on the subject of marriage. I realized how ironic is the behavior that decision on something which matters us most for our remaining life is taking in few seconds while a decision on what to wear is taken after hours and days of shopping.

Most of the Indian (the arranged marriage brigade) knows that marriage is pure luck. You get a closed gift box. One can decide what is the gift article he wants inside the box. She has the option of rejecting the gift as well. But for most of us, the desire to open and unwrap the gift oozes so strongly that we open the gift at the very first instance enamored by its outer aesthetic and superficial characteristics. No one enquires about the utility of the gift. And if one goes about doing that inquiry then often the chorus from family members and friends alike is "with this attitude, you are gone psycho"? Years later into the marriage when the whole craze of exploring each other's physiological makeup is nearly over, people realize how incompatible they are?

In general, marriage in India is about groom's purse, girl's face and socio-economic similarities between the two families. Most of the marriage survive and thrive on these premises. But if one really knows herself, then it makes sense to have answers to few questions before diving deep into the pleasures of it. From a psychological point of view, I designed an interview test to evaluate the marriage compatibility. A word of caution before going into it. It is unscientific, unstandardised and hypothetical. It is not made for those who do not know themselves. There is no scoring. The idea is to merely introspect yourself. Ultimately, marriage be it, love, arranged or whatever is about compromises, forgiveness, adjustments, and luck. The purpose of this test is not to undo this pillars of marriage. Rather, it is about reducing the need of these pillars so that marriage can levitate in the air and couples can fly in the air holding each other's hand and carrying a smile on their face.

And again, these questions are not for your partner. Instead, these are for you to know about yourself. Once you know yourself, you can always extract bits and pieces of this information from your partner and know about your compatibility. and my apologies if it contains some element of deception.

Day-to-day attitudinal similarity
Q. What are your likes and dislikes in life?
Q. What do you hate most in the life?
Q. What are the things you can not withstand?

General orientation of "what is good life"
Q. If you are given rs. 1 lakh then what will you prefer to do with it?
Q. If you have some one week holiday then how would you like to spend it?
Q. How much money do you need on monthly basis to live materially satisfied?

Activities related similarity
Q. How often do you wish to go out?
Q. How often do you wish to shop out?
Q. Priority: sleep, travel, cooking, shopping, reading [you can have your own five activity areas. Make sure to choose two of them which you love to do and at least one which you don't like to do at all]
Q. If you ever go out then what places would you like to visit:
Shopping, Historic places, Nature trails/Trecking, Temples, Prefer to rest [tailor it as per who you are. Put two things you love/like to do and at least one which desists you]
Q. If ever you get time to watch TV, which channel would you like to see:
K-series sitcoms, Comedy like Raju Srivastava/Tarak Mehta, RSTV/documentary/News, Movies, Horror shows, Sports
Q. Rate on the scale of 1 to 5:
Shopping interest [1-5], Travelling interest [1-5], Reading interest [1-5], Work interest [1-5], Sports interest [1-5], Cooking interest[1-5]

Career related compatibility
Q. What are your professional aspirations?
Q. What are some of the unfulfilled dreams of your life?
Q. What is the purpose of your life?

Wisdom of life
Q. What is happiness for you?
Q. What is the best way to celebrate happiness?

Conflict
Q. What is the best way for husband and wife to reconcile a difference?
Q. arrange in the order of preference: Work, family, money, friends and so on.

Family
Q. What kind of family setup do you prefer?
Living with parents, Living nuclear, Settling abroad

The list can be tailored as per the personality of the subject. But remember, these questions are to be asked to yourself. One should not even think of extracting this information from another person if she does not know himself. There is some element of naive psychology in each of these. Anyway enough of gyan for the day.