Warren Buffet once remarked "The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say “no” to almost everything”. A civil services aspirant does not have to be so obsessed with no tendency because you never you know if the person you are offending so often becomes the next Tina Dabi. But jokes apart, One needs to strictly guard against any negative influence on his preparation process.
The arena of civil services sees a variety of people with unique traits aspiring for the top post. However broadly one can classify them in 3 categories. One who knows they are not going to get through the exam. Other who knows they are definitely going to crack this exam. And swing players who are not too sure. If they get good company and the right guidance, they make it happen, surprising their friends and foes. And if they are put on the wrong track from day one they go back after failing in prelims.
The art of saying no is extremely important for these swing players. The need to say no can arise in many situations.
1. A friend asking you to become part of a group discussion which may not be very productive in your perspective.
2. A friend regularly asking you to come for a tea break, disrupting your study sessions.
3. Family members asking you to devote more time to familial responsibilities during the course of preparation.
4. Girlfriend eating up a share of your time.
5. And many other numerous situations in day to day settings where roommates or friends causing you some distrubance etc.
The crux of the matter is "It is only you and you alone who is responsible for your failure. Nobody else would be blamed if you are not able to achieve it. Be it family or friends or environment or girlfriend." Therefore, be aggressive in your strategies and play it on the front foot.Learn to say no. Nobody would be offended if they are your true well wishers. You should explain it. One does not have to be abrupt and react in a knee-jerk manner. And if they get offended and bear with it. The day you will get through, they will be the first one to wish you on your success and sing paeans of your commitment.
However, most of the time we fail to understand whether we need to say no or make a change in our current course of action. For this, all one has to do is "Observe". This process will also help in increasing your self-awareness and self-management quotient of emotional intelligence. Though it may bring down your relationship management but given the intentional nature of the offence, you need not bother much about it. So it starts with asking right kind of questions to yourself.
1. Is my preparation on the right track?
2. Am I sufficiently productive?
3. Am I wasting time unnecessarily?
4. Is the current environmental setting facilitating my preparation in a positive way? For example, if your room has become a party place then one must say no to the friends who have made your room a favorite "adda". Or for example, if your roommate is habitual of sleeping with lights off in the room but it affects your preparation then saying no to "switching off your light".
5. In any new thing, What's in it for me?
6. Is group study session productive enough? For example, if it turns into a teaching or preaching session or some gossiping session then one should take immediate action.
But a word of caution. Don't be very obsessed with this. This has to come with a tinge of tolerance in your own attitude. However, one has to be vigilant it not obsessed. And be prepared for making quick corrections. For example, change the room or change the roommate or ask the free riders in the group session to mind their ways.
Henry Ford famously remarked Leader is one who can say no in 999 different ways. The art of saying no is extremely important from interview perspective as well. This I shall explain in the Interview related blog.
I understand many people may not agree with what I have written today. But I have strongly felt the need to develop this art to keep your preparation on track and don't get swayed by your surrounding. Thus comes this blog.
The arena of civil services sees a variety of people with unique traits aspiring for the top post. However broadly one can classify them in 3 categories. One who knows they are not going to get through the exam. Other who knows they are definitely going to crack this exam. And swing players who are not too sure. If they get good company and the right guidance, they make it happen, surprising their friends and foes. And if they are put on the wrong track from day one they go back after failing in prelims.
The art of saying no is extremely important for these swing players. The need to say no can arise in many situations.
1. A friend asking you to become part of a group discussion which may not be very productive in your perspective.
2. A friend regularly asking you to come for a tea break, disrupting your study sessions.
3. Family members asking you to devote more time to familial responsibilities during the course of preparation.
4. Girlfriend eating up a share of your time.
5. And many other numerous situations in day to day settings where roommates or friends causing you some distrubance etc.
The crux of the matter is "It is only you and you alone who is responsible for your failure. Nobody else would be blamed if you are not able to achieve it. Be it family or friends or environment or girlfriend." Therefore, be aggressive in your strategies and play it on the front foot.Learn to say no. Nobody would be offended if they are your true well wishers. You should explain it. One does not have to be abrupt and react in a knee-jerk manner. And if they get offended and bear with it. The day you will get through, they will be the first one to wish you on your success and sing paeans of your commitment.
However, most of the time we fail to understand whether we need to say no or make a change in our current course of action. For this, all one has to do is "Observe". This process will also help in increasing your self-awareness and self-management quotient of emotional intelligence. Though it may bring down your relationship management but given the intentional nature of the offence, you need not bother much about it. So it starts with asking right kind of questions to yourself.
1. Is my preparation on the right track?
2. Am I sufficiently productive?
3. Am I wasting time unnecessarily?
4. Is the current environmental setting facilitating my preparation in a positive way? For example, if your room has become a party place then one must say no to the friends who have made your room a favorite "adda". Or for example, if your roommate is habitual of sleeping with lights off in the room but it affects your preparation then saying no to "switching off your light".
5. In any new thing, What's in it for me?
6. Is group study session productive enough? For example, if it turns into a teaching or preaching session or some gossiping session then one should take immediate action.
But a word of caution. Don't be very obsessed with this. This has to come with a tinge of tolerance in your own attitude. However, one has to be vigilant it not obsessed. And be prepared for making quick corrections. For example, change the room or change the roommate or ask the free riders in the group session to mind their ways.
Henry Ford famously remarked Leader is one who can say no in 999 different ways. The art of saying no is extremely important from interview perspective as well. This I shall explain in the Interview related blog.
I understand many people may not agree with what I have written today. But I have strongly felt the need to develop this art to keep your preparation on track and don't get swayed by your surrounding. Thus comes this blog.
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