Art of speaking

Why do we speak so fast? I have noticed the tendency of speaking fast among many people. The biggest culprit is me myself. Trying to speak really fast, saying maximum possible things in minimum possible time. It makes me wonder about what part of my personality drives me to become so rash? Does it remain restricted to speaking or would it spill over to my other attitudes and behaviors? What kind of general impression does it convey impatience, or rashness or anxiety or dominance or restlessness or fear or need for approval? What should be done to curb such behavioral practices?

A little bit of introspection reveals that most often it is an attempt to win an argument. Or putting my viewpoint on the matter as quickly as possible in a bid to avoid any possible misinterpretation. Why do I want to avoid misinterpretation? It is because I care about my impression. And why so? It may be due to high need for approval and recognition.

I was reading on Quora about this. It is also related to the length of breath and inability of the person to control the air in the vocal cord. As the air fills the vocal cord and we find it difficult to release it slowly and gradually, We often end up speaking super fast.

Further, sometimes it is due to our reluctance to hold a viewpoint in our mind for some longer duration. Somewhere, We fear that we may forget to mention this later and this point may become obsolete in few minutes because topic might be changed. Therefore, We tend to stuff that one extra point in our limited conversation time which makes the entire sentence look cluttered and fast.

Another source of this type of speaking style emerges from the way we learn English. In the early days, there was a lot of fumbling, stammering, and interruption in the speech. Most of the time, it was due to lack of correct vocabulary and sometimes it was due to inability to form a correct sentence. Therefore, a general counter-strategy was to speak fast. This helps in keeping tongue's pace with the mind. We are able to suppress that Ummm sound. Over the years, it became a habit.

When it spills over to other behavior, it shows up in our eating, reading and almost every other walk of life. Ultimately, we are a integrated whole so habits of one domain have contagious effect on other domains as well. Most specifically it shows up in my writing where I ignore articles, correctness of grammar and spellings in order to write more and more in less and less time. Sometimes, it takes away the elaborative aspect of writing and make it look abstract and baseless.

But the real issue is how do I fix this? Swami Vivekanand once famously remarked that once you know the problem then you have solved it for 80%. Rest 20% is only implementation. For me, the fix is to observe myself very closely. Notice my breath and take longer breath whenever possible. Don't mind loosing a argument once in a while. and Keep maun. Try to understand that other person also have a need for approval. He also wants to prove his point so keep listening.

In this regard, I love Modi's style. Whenever a delegation goes to meet Modi, he puts a finger on his lips and do not speak untill the other group has finished their point. This way he ensures that when he speaks, no one interfere. Thus he use all the time to collate his thoughts and express them articulatively.

Anyway, Enough for the day. Will write the rest later.