The last few days have been disturbing as I suffered from indiscipline, neuroticism due to excess workload and struggled to finish things in proper manner. Lot of time went in listening to Osho and Sadhguru. Despite their soothing lectures, the reality that life is just drama takes some time to sink in. May be it comes by experience. May be we need to get rid of all our desires to get over this.
The biggest problem was feeling of incompleteness. When you try to do N things at the same time then it usually happens. We make micro-progress on each front and at the end of the day we feel that nothing is done or achieved. Last month was a disaster in this regard. I was simultaneously doing so many things that I failed to make any substantive progress on any of them except three. The only three bright spots in the pursuits were consistency in Gym, submission of research proposal and initiative of cyber security research group.
The problem is rooted in lack of planning, strategy and consistency. Somehow, I have not been able to get some free time for my fun activities and rest. It is not like I had no free time rather it is because of my tendency to take more and more work on my head. Sometimes I wonder how people like Shashi Tharoor and others manage to do so many activities at one time. In last few weeks, I have not even read one full book.
Anyway, the best part of persistent introspection is that you may miss on few things but keep coming back on the track. If your basics are right you may fall occasionally but you can never fail. The key to coming back again and again is to maintain a time table, list your activities, prioritise among them and keep moving. That is what I need to do at the moment.
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