The two main source of an employee’s nightmares are his Spouse and Boss. The only key to survive both relationships is to keep your mouth shut. While the relationship with Spouse is characterized by “True Lauu”, the dynamics of a Boss-employee relationship has a duality of love as well as displeasure. Spouse(s) (extra s for daring employees) and Bosses are demi-gods around whom the entire food chain of employees revolve. Therefore, it is a survival necessity to follow the command of your boss.
Employees, the innocent lesser mortals often fail to pick electromagnetic waves radiating from the boss. Bosses always have a hidden meaning in their command. If boss says that “she will see to it”, one must understand that boss doesn’t think it is important. If boss asks us to “take a look at something whenever you get time”, it means that work should be finished within 6 hours and report must be sent to him before sun sets in the evening. If boss says that “it is really exciting idea”, it means the idea may never see the light of the day. The list is long. Obviously, each boss has a different signaling frequency just like gods have different powers therefore, it is advisable for employees to switch off their mobile before entering Boss’s cabin. Else the signals may interfere and one may be faced with the Boss’s thunderclap. In order to make your boss happy, every righteous employee should follow three basic principles.
First principle is “Boss is always right irrespective of the situation, argument, event or condition”. One should be able to spot the Lord Krishna in his boss and quite naturally himself should become a Meera. Employees rather than applying their own mind should follow the leads of the bosses and get the work done. If ever there arises any second thoughts, then one should revisit this principle again.
Second principle is “Boss knows it all whatever is the subject”. Boss is like a Buddha, an enlightened being. Never doubt the wisdom of your boss. Never question what is he asking for. Just do it. In this respect, it is advisable to download the service pack tool SIR in order to communicate to your boss effectively. This is state of art employee’s signaling system which helps in avoiding all conflicts with bosses.
Third principle is most enlightening i.e. “Boss can never be happy irrespective of what you do”. If employee does some work then either he faces some rebuke this time or it will raise the bar of excellence which will eventually lead to rebuke in the next round. Don’t you remember Ustad Ahmad, the architect of Taj mahal whose hands were cut off after building of Taj Mahal. Therefore, just swallow the rebuke like you do of your spouse (Being better half, only she enjoys the right to rebuke) and enjoy the praise with equanimity.
The recent literature on the subject mentions an extension of the third rule i.e. 3A which applied to employees as well. It says that “Happy employee is a myth just”. An employee will always be dissatisfied whatever reward a boss gives to him. If he is given a seating space, he will ask for chair. If he is given a chair, he will ask for table. If he is given a table, he will ask for computer. If he is given a computer, he will ask for laptop. And if he is given a laptop, he will seek for permissions to watch movies on it. That’s how complex and eternally dissatisfied a poor employee is, just like a poor husband.
The work part of life is an act of god which prepares you for nirvana. The love of boss tells you to not get excited about anything in life because scold will follow soon. Similarly, the rebuke tells to not get depressed because we are all sailing in the same boat. The best an employee can do is postpone the rebuke but then he will become victim of his own pursuit of excellence. Therefore, Boss’s rebuke is like a sweet bitter inevitable fact of the work space. Enjoy it, relish it and treat it like a badge of honor just like you celebrate a discourse received from your spouse.
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